Relationships are Hard
by redrccm
Summary: There was nothing else in life they could ever want of need, that's what they told themselves. Natasha, she was living among shattered dreams and pain, he was the only thing she truly love though she never told him that. When one of Natasha's beliefs is proved wrong, the final test lays before them, one that will put their love to test. Sequel to Lipstick Lies.
1. Chapter 1

_Time  
Goes by as day and nights are turning into years  
But I'm lying in your arms  
It's the place  
Where I know that I am closest to your heart  
Where the dark is torn apart. _

_-Amaranthine, Amaranthe_

**~X~**

Natasha wiped the loose strands of hair from her forehead and let her body fall to the bed heavily. She struggled to make her breathing even again, to regain consciousness after such an ecstatic state as the one she had been in a few seconds before. It was only supposed to be one time, but he was just so addicting that she lost all control.

She turned to face him, but when her eyes met his, she found that his visage, always so serene and tender now reflected uneasiness, and, maybe even a hint of fear. Natasha knew that expression, Steve was about to spill out some truly bad news.

"What is it, Steve?"

"We didn't use any protection." He muttered, his voice was a fain whisper.

"You're right." Natasha rolled to the edge of the bed and sat with her feet hanging for the side, she sighed and then stood, her bare back facing him.

"And you think nothing of it?"

She shrugged.

"How come?"

"I didn't really want to land this bomb so soon, but I guess I can't help it." Natasha walked around the bedroom and sat by his side, she touched his hand lightly.

"What is it?" He sat.

Natasha allowed herself a moment to admire him, his messed hair, his flushed cheeks, the exposed upper body and the small hint of what the lower half of his body was.

"Steve, I can't have kids."

He stopped, perhaps only before her eyes, but her heart thumped on her chest, hitting her ribcage hard.

"I don't know why, it's some sort of side effect of the serum I took, I've tried it already, the results weren't good, not on the slightest."

Steve just stared, Natasha knew how hard he was trying not to show the relief he felt, she would feel that way too, they didn't have structure to bring a baby into the world, they hadn't even settled yet. She wasn't angry at him, nor was she sad about his reaction, she was sad because the one dream she had – of building a family – she would never be able to do. The choice was taken away from her.

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her, pressing her small body against his chest. He planted a kiss on her forehead. She could hear his heart. For a moment she closed her eyes before looking at him before saying.

"I'm having a shower."

"Mind if I join you?"

Natasha stood and made her way towards the bathroom, glancing over her shoulder and smiling playfully when she reached the frame of the door, "Feel free."

She walked into the bathroom and turned on the hot water, the steam started to rise up and, even with the water that hit the ground making a loud noise she could hear his footstep. Natasha entered the shower and felt the water warm up her body, making her muscles relax. Steve joined her.

For a moment, they just stared at each other, she didn't believe that they were actually doing that, Steve was getting bolder as time passed, she almost didn't see the innocent boy of before. But then she kissed him, and he kissed her back, hungrily. His hand went to her butt, he grasped it and she laughed lightly into the kiss. He pressed her back against the glass and she reached for a small bottle.

"What's that?" He asked, but she never answered. She uncapped it and put a small quantity of the translucent gel on her hand rubbing them together before doing that on his dick. Steve groaned.

Natasha continued the foreplay, long and slow strokes. He placed one of his hands against the glass gritting his teeth and letting out small breathless moans. Before anything else, she was teasing him. Getting a better grip, her strokes became harder and faster, he pulsated in her hand, after a while, his warm cum mixed with the water, creating a slick mix.

She grinned. He pressed his body against her back, her face pressed against the glass. Both of his hands had a steel grip on her waist when he entered her, making her shudder and moan, her nails scratched the glass as he moved her hips to meet his. Natasha arched her back and felt Steve kiss her neck, one of his hands left her hip and massaged her clit, a move she didn't expect, she moved her hips and archer her back, humping against him, feeling him against her thighs. His touch on her overly sensitive skin sent electric waves through her body, she moaned.

Steve entered her and she melted in his arms, for a second, they stood like that, waiting for their bodies to get accustomed to each other, to be ready. Natasha felt him harden inside her and her muscles contracted, a small gasp left her mouth. He started to move, slow and the mix of the warm water against her skin and his touch made it all even more erotic. He devoured her neck, her exposed skin leaving red marks, claiming her even though there was no need for him to do such thing. Natasha couldn't touch him, she couldn't see him and, at the same time she felt it frustrating, it was also different, in a good way. He was finally learning to take control. Yet those thoughts only crossed her mind later for then, she couldn't focus on anything. Her mind was hazy, she couldn't join syllables to make words, all that left her parted lips were moans of pleasure. Natasha closed her eyes, her walls tightened around him, he groaned on her ear, a sound primal and deliciously hoarse, that was when she came.

But he wasn't done yet, his thrusts continued even as she panted, gasping for air, then his grip tightened on her and, in one powerful and swift motion he finished, cumming inside of her. The feeling of the hot thick liquid inside her, made her knees weak with pleasure, had he not been there, she might have fallen. For a moment, they didn't move, just stood there, before Steve took a step back.

Now free, she turned to face him, he was flushed and looked almost embarrassed. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him gently. He smiled at her.

Natasha felt weirdly happy, it was a sensation she would have to get used to. He felt his strong embrace around her and she buried her face in his chest. Then she kissed the skin exposed to her before bitting it lightly.

"Nat!" He gasped.

"What?" She asked, innocent eyes gazing up at him.

"You just bit me."

"Yeah, once, but you did it enough times for to have to wear a turtleneck for the rest of the year." She laughed.

He laughed and both of their sweet voices ringing in the air.


	2. Chapter 2

_I, I know why__  
__Because when I look in her eyes__  
__I just see the sky_

**_-__She had the world; Panic! At the Disco_**

**~X~**

Natasha closed her eyes, hoping the sight before her was just a vision, a trick her mind was playing on her.

"No, no, no..." She kept repeating, blinking fast as she reached for the fourth pregnancy test she'd bought. There was no doubt, she was pregnant.

Even before she saw the two sticks, she knew that she was pregnant. There was only one explanation for her mood swings, nausea and swollen breasts. Along with those signs, there were many others that she only experienced once in her life, back in 1945.

She stood quickly, but regretted that decision, she was back on her knees clutching her stomach with one arm and using the other hand to keep her hair from her face, she vomited all she'd eaten for lunch, the sour taste of the bile filling her mouth and burning her throat. Natasha sat and rested her back against the walls of the tub after flushing the toilet.

How was she going to tell Steve? How had that happened? And, most important of all, what was she going to do about it?

People were going to notice soon, but what bothered her wasn't the awareness, was the pain she would have to go through when she had the miscarriage. Yes, _when _she had the miscarriage, she was sure it was going to happen. No matter how many times people told her that it was because of the stress, the cold all of it together, caused her to lose the baby, but she knew it wasn't that, she knew that her body was designed to kill, to end any and all signs of life, including a baby, the purest of them all.

Perhaps, she just wasn't worthy of something like that, she had never been. And, _perhaps, _it was because she thought so lowly of herself that she couldn't carry a child. Then she stood again, very carefully that time and laid on the bed, she wasn't going out that evening with Steve. Natasha reached for the phone and dialed his number.

"Hey, Nat."

"Steve, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to go out with you tonight."

"Why not?" He asked.

"I... I have some work to do. Some files to type."

"I can help and maybe we can watch a movie later."

Natasha sighed, "I'm sorry, but no."

"What? Why?"

"I have some stuff to do, I told you." She felt a knot on her throat start to form.

"Okay." He muttered.

"I have to go."

What was she going to do? Steve and her had no structure whatsoever to raise a child, she wasn't even sure that they were serious about the relationship. She searched online fore everything, how much money they would spend, how much time would go to wasted. Then she closed the computer and closed her eyes. Tired as she was, it took her no time to fall asleep.

"_You lied to me!" His voice cut through the darkness._

"_No, Steve, I swear I didn't!"_

"_Why should I believe you? You are the master of deception, the one who manipulates everyone."_

"_But... But you said you trusted me."_

"_Yes, but then you lied to me." Saliva droplets escaped his lips showing just how angry he was. "What else?"_

"_No, no! I swear, it was the truth." Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes._

"_You haven't even said that you love me, not even once."_

"_But I do, I love you, Steve!" She begged, "Please, please believe me."_

"_Nat! Nat!"_

She woke up, her forehead and her entire body wet, Steve held her"

"Is everything okay? You were screaming."

"What are you doing here?" She got away from him abruptly.

"I came to check on you, Nat.

"I thought I told you not to come. I have work to do."

"Okay, I'm leaving. But do you mind if I stop by later?"

"Yeah, I do. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Uh... Okay." He stood and walked to the door, "Call me if you need anything."

"Whatever."

Why was she giving him the cold shoulder? Natasha ran a hand through her hair in despair. She remembered the dream. Was it true? Steve was always saying and repeating that he loved her, but had she not said it once? Was she _that _scared of those words? Why? Why was she so scared?

Maybe it was just because of the hormones, or maybe she did feel that way. She sighed and went to the bathroom to have a bath, it would help clear her head. And it was in the shower, in the middle of her silent tears that mixed with the water that she made the final decision, she wasn't going to keep the baby, she would have an abortion, because anything was better than a miscarriage.

If she was to speak the truth, she would say that, out of all that she had been through, all the pain, suffering and demise, the one thing that haunted her the most were the nightmares of that cold wintry night, the night the Germans attacked, the night Rose and Alexei died. It was the night in which she completely buried her feelings towards everyone so she wouldn't be hurt again in any way.

Now, having made that decision, she needed to tell Steve, she wanted his support and approval to do that. After all, the child wasn't only hers, but Steve's as well.

She called him.

"Hey, Natasha." His voice was slightly colder than before.

"Steve, come over, I need to talk to you."

"Did something happen?"

"No. We need to talk."

"Okay, I'm on my way."

Natasha sat on the living room, trying to calm herself, practice the words, think of something to say, ways of persuading him. But there wasn't anything, nothing came to her mind, she would just have to be spontaneous.

Three knocks on the door, she stood and greeted Steve with a small kiss on the lips;

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Nope."

"Please, have a sit."

He sat on an armchair in front of her.

She took a deep breath.

"Steve, I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened in surprise.

"And I decided not to keep the baby."


	3. Chapter 3

"_What I wanted to give you  
Was the future"_

_-_LiSa, Oath Sign

**~X~**

"Steve, I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened in surprise.

"And I decided not to keep the baby."

She could see how he was trying to gather his thoughts, "What do you mean? I thought you couldn't get pregnant."

"So did I." She looked down, "I thought I would tell you that and I also wanted you to know my decision. You don't have to agre with it."

"But why are you not keeping the baby?"

"Because, Steve, it will take a huge amount of time, besides the six months I'll spend at home doing paperwork, I will have to stop working." She said and looked at him again, she didn't expect him to understand her, "And, I'm not a stay-at-home person."

"But I'll help you."

"The problem is not raising the child alone, I have no problem with that, the problem is to stop working, to stop going out and drinking, to give up my social life."

"So you're too selfish?"

"No, Steve," She took a deep breath, "A child is the thing I want most in the world, but..."

"But what? Am I the problem?"

"No."

"Then what is it?"

"I don't want to quit my job, Steve."

"Why? You can find another."

"I'm a _spy_, an assassin, killing and getting information from enemies is what I do for a living Steve. Besides no wanting to raise a child like that, I have no stability in my life of any sorts, the only love and stability I have is my job at S.H.I.E.L.D. I'm finally doing the right thing. I still have a debt to pay."

"I see."

Her breath was caught in her throat, she finally realized what she'd said. She didn't mean it.

"I'm not stable enough, I don't give you enough love, I'm not enough, I never was and I should have known you'd do this to me. The Femme Fatale, the heartbreaker. You're nothing but a liar."

"Steve..."

"No, don't even bother." He spit, "You never said '_I love you.'_ Not even once. I didn't push you, I gave you the time I thought you might need. But now I see, you don't love me, you never did."

A tear slipped down her cheek.

"So it cries." Steve muttered.

Natasha stood, "Get out." She was calm, terribly calm.

"What?"

"OUT! GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT, _NOW!" _All of their moments together passed in front of her eyes, she was so happy with him, she never wanted it to end, but, apparently, it did end. Steve, he was angry and Natasha, she said things without thinking, things she didn't mean, she was wrong yes, in many, many ways. But he had no right to say those words, out of all her friends, the people she knew, she was intimate with _him _and no one else, he'd seen her smile, he'd seen her cry, so she couldn't understand those words. Maybe he had just gotten angry, but he couldn't disrespect her, not like that.

"I will." He strode out with his pride.

Natasha sat back down and cried, it was just the hormones, she told herself, but she knew it wasn't, she knew that the pain she felt in her chest was hearbreak and she hated it, because she still loved Steve and, deep inside, she didn't want him to go.

She felt something on her arm, a small pain, she wiped her tears away and looked to the right, there was a dart on her arm, tranquilizer! The window was broken and she couldn't figure who was there, her eyes wouldn't focus. Her body fell damp on the couch.

**~X~**

Steve walked down the street, maybe he had been too harsh on her. He was angry and he misjudged his feelings, he was sure she did the same. And of all the facades of Natasha Romanoff he'd seen, he'd never seen her angry. Somehow, she always seemed to be able to keep her cool, not even when someone died had she exploded like that.

He looked everywhere for her smile, for her hair, for her scent, but he couldn't find it, they haunted him. And maybe, all those little moments they spent together, when she laughed, when she cried, when she was serious, they were her silent way of showing how much she loved him. Her silent confession of love.

The man stopped.

Maybe he should go back and talk to her, apologize, even if she wouldn't accept it right away, he would have, at least, tried to make things right again. The walk to her place took 15 minutes, he stopped by a florist and bought her roses on the way. He went up, the door was unlocked. He found it, weird, her door was never unlocked. Slowly, he entered the apartment, the window next to the sofa was broken, there were shattered pieces of glass on the floor and a dart.

She had been kidnapped.

Steve called got the dart and headed back to the tower as fast as he could, he needed Bruce to inspect it, they needed to find Natasha. Who knew what whoever took her would do to her? They needed to act fast.

**~X~**

Her mouth was dry and her body sore. Opening her eyes was hard there was a light straight at her face making impossible for her to see the rest of the room, recognize her surroundings. Natasha tried to move her hands, but they were tied up to the table. The feeling of the cold metal against her back told her that she was naked, there was a thin sheet covering her body. She didn't make a sound, whoever captured her knew that she was already awake, but a single word, a single sound, anything could give away whatever thing they wanted from her.

All she had in her mind was her fight with Steve, a distraction, she needed to focus.

_'So it cries.' _

She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists, she needed it to go away, she needed to forget that. But she couldn't forget. Her mind, the serum wouldn't allow it. And she knew she didn't want to forget it too. She shut her eyes tight and opened them again, there was a deadly spark in them, she would make sure they suffered. Whoever laid a finger on her and the Avengers.

"I see you are awake, Miss Romanoff." A voice sounded from all the sides of the room. The man who spoke had a German accent. Something touched her leg, a finger, tracing a line towards her stomach. "A little bird told me that you are pregnant."

She didn't flinch, nor did she reply.

"Not going to talk are we?" He laughed softly, "It's okay, there's no need for you to do so. But we'll make sure the next eight months are pleasant for you."

"W-What?" She gasped.

"You see, you and Captain Rogers are... Super Soldiers, ya?" The man cleared his throat, "Genetically engineered. Do you have any idea of what a baby with your genes mean?"

Natasha opened her mouth, she hadn't thought about it.

"Then, Little Spider," He continued, "We will move you to your room."

She was taken to a room, all four walls were made of cement, and there was a heavy metal door, there was no way out, she was trapped;


	4. Chapter 4

"_The memory of your dream_

_Your scream_

_Is making _

_Gentle echoes"_

_-_Sora ha Takaku Kaze ha Utau, Haruna Luna

**~X~**

"How on earth did you let that happen, Steve?" Clint exclaimed and punched a wall.

"I didn't let anything happen. We had a fight and I wasn't there. I wa... I'm her boyfriend, but Natasha is more than capable of taking care of herself."

None of the Avengers seemed to notice his mistake, they were too busy expecting the results of the test, Bruce would define what had been injected into her and see if he could find any traces of where the dart was from with Tony's help. Steve tapped his finger on his glass of scotch, there was nothing he could do but wait and he couldn't relax, he couldn't get drunk and his mind was too distressed for him to train. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"We found it." Tony barged into the room. Even he understood how serious that matter was for all of them.

"The tranquilizer was very, very strong, a German serum developed to bring down even the toughest of men." Bruce said, "As for the dart,"

"There was an inscription on it, it's Hydra's." Tony completed.

The grip Steve had on the glass was so strong that the crystal shattered on his hand, leaving deep cuts, but he didn't mind, it would heal quickly.

"Any clues as for where he is?" Steve's voice was dark, it surprised everyone.

"Um... Well, they couldn't have taken her overseas or left the city, as Natasha took the same serum as Steve and the potion wouldn't work for long, I'd say they're inside the city, maybe in a hidden base." Clint said.

"Are there any abandoned buildings within a 30 miles radius?" Tony asked, "Nevermind, I'll ask J.A.R.V.I.S."

He repeated the question to the A.I, Steve suddenly stood, "I'm going to change so we can attack."

"Steve, my friend, wait." Thor made himself heard for the first time, "I say we do not attack today, we must first create a plan."

"But she might die while we wait here!" He clenched his fists. The anguish, the guilt within him was too much to bear, he didn't want to lose her, not her.

"And she might as well die if there are any sort of traps there, if we fail." Thor placed a hand on Steve's shoulder, "We must all remain calm, for nothing good will come from despair, we must focus on finding Lady Natasha."

Thor's words made sense.

_'What would Natasha do in this situation?' _

She would remain calm, that's what she would do, she would come up with a flawless pan and execute it with perfection. Steve took a deep breath and put to use some of the skills she'd shared with him.

Before them, J.A.R.V.I.S projected a map, with small yellow dots on about 10 different locations. Now they could finally begin their project, they would finally find Natasha. They spent hours working on the locations before there were only four different possible locations where she could be. Tony left to scan the places, searching for unusual activity there.

"Captain, you should sleep."

"No." Steve continued tapping his foot.

"Staying awake will only make you tired for tomorrow."

"But we still need to work on the attack plan."

"Yes, I know, but try to sleep for at least one hour. When Tony gets back, we'll wake you up."

Steve nodded and got up, he went to his room, but he couldn't sleep. The memories of Natasha, the wanders of his mind only brought back pain, he could hear her scream. He could see the glistening tears. But those his saw were a mere reflection of his own, of his own mental state, because he had no idea of how well she was handling the situation

**~X~**

Steve wouldn't even realize she was gone.

Natasha was sure of that. He would call her, but he would only think that she was ignoring him. But she had already resigned to her fate. She had already made a choice, she wouldn't let them have her baby, she would die before she gave it to them, before she allowed them to take it from her.

She laid on the bed the entire time, just clutching her stomach and putting her bewildered feelings under control, in between the sobs and the annoying sound the bed made when she moved, there was nothing that could be heard except for the mechanical buzz of moving cameras and the blank noise of speakers.

Either that place and the electric system was too old, or they didn't care about her knowing she was being watched. She pretended she didn't care, but it disturbed her deeply. Natasha heard something slide into the room, she moved her gaze from the plain cemented wall to the floor, there was a tray of food – good food – and some pills, along with a cup of water. That food was surprisingly good considering her current state. She sat and got the tray, placing it before her on the bed.

"I know you can hear me." She spoke up, her voice faltering slightly for she hadn't said a word in a long while, "What are theses pills?"

There was a long pause before a voice made itself heard, the same man as before.

"These are to assure the baby and the mother's health."

"What if I don't take them."

"Then we'll force you. You choose."

Natasha swallowed hard, then she picked up the pills and drank them with the water. She ate the entire dish, the redhead hadn't realized how hungry she was before that. Then she noticed something, they gave her a metal knife and fork. She made a mental note, that might be useful later.

**~X~**

Upon hearing the heavy footsteps, he rushed into the living room, where they all were.

"I found it." Those words that left Tony's lips were a spark of hope that rang on Steve's ears, they found her.

"But it's extremely well guarded, so we'll need an extremely well formed plan. I'll see if I can hack into their systems, it will take quite a lot of work, but if I can gain access to the pant of the building, it will help a lot."

Everyone nodded and waited for more news from Tony and Thor, whose knowledge on technology was vast. With both of them working, it took "only" half an hour to determine everything, they had a plan ready and they were leaving that instant, while it was night, so it would look less suspicious.

Steve was coming for her, they all were.

**~X~**

**A/N:**_ Yo! This is the first A/N in this story lol, I just wanted to thank you for all the reviews and follows. I want to know if there are any suggestions, comments and all that, they help me grow as a writer :3_


	5. Ending 1

3 hours 10 minutes and 45 seconds.

Natasha counted patiently, tapping her finger against the mattress in a steady rhythm, since there were no windows and nothing that she could use to know just how long she had been there, she counted. It served not only as a distraction, but it was also useful. She had to know if they were going to bring her meals constantly or if they were trying to confuse her, make her lose track of the time.

While she did that, Natasha also examined every corner of the room, searching for clues, something she could use to escape, but she found nothing, there weren't even cracks on the walls or vents, they were smart. And, even though she expected that from Hydra, she still had the slightest of hopes that there would be something she could use besides the desperate plan she had in mind, the last attempt.

And even though she tried her best to forget about it, the only image in her mind was Steve's face.

Who knew what he might be doing now?

Maybe, he and the rest of the Avengers were drinking and playing a game, maybe he was shopping, having a hot chocolate, or maybe even going to a club and meeting new people. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly.

"Shit." She muttered under her breath, she was sick again.

And as she leaned over the toilet, the tray of food slid from under the door.

She stood up and washed her hands and face with the water that ran from the small sink on a corner of the room.

Natasha looked at the tray, beef and salad, along with the same pills as before. How much were they spending on keeping her healthy? She sat on the floor, her back pressed against the cold cemented wall. She contemplated the pointy metal knife. It glistened when the light was reflected on its surface.

She cut the meat and ate it, the beef was very soft.

**~X~**

"Are you all ready?" Tony asked.

They all nodded, Stark took a lead off the edge of the 50 story tower.

Steve ran to the aircraft along with the rest of the team, he revised the plan in his head, while he rescued Natasha, the rest of them would go and end all the security in the building, anything that could get in their way. It almost seemed too easy to be real.

The aircraft flew high above, the assault would begin from the air. He jumped, rolling before falling down. Steve knew he was supposed to be waiting for the other, but there was a door in the roof right before him. Natasha was so close, he could almost see her. Steve looked up before breaking through the door, Clint was arriving, along with some of the others, slowly descending, but Steve couldn't wait, no, _Natasha _couldn't wait. There were lots of men there, they aimed at Steve and started to shoot, as if they already expected the arrival of the Avengers. Well, of course they did.

Steve used his shield to protect himself from the bullets that followed and used a gun he carried for emergencies to take down some of them. But then, he realized his mistake, he would need backup, for the agents from Hydra were very smart and well trained, almost equal to S.H.I.E.L.D ones. The sound of a machine gun rang from behind Steve. He was sure it meant his death, but it was Clint, he shot perfectly every single one of those men and took down all of them.

Steve looked behind him impressed.

"You're welcome, Cap, now let's go rescue Nat." The archer said and ran into the building, Steve followed.

**~X~**

She ate as slowly as possible, playing with the food, getting lost in her thoughts, chewing a lot more than needed, just so she could buy herself time, so she could decide whether or not she would follow the plan she set for herself, it was the only way to protect Steve.

Her eyes never left the knife she held on her right hand.

**~X~**

"I'm already disabling the system, I found the room Red's in." Steve heard him say through the com, his voice was followed by noises of him typing, "Um... I can't open it through the computer, but the cell is number 4 underground."

"Okay." Steve nodded as he and Clint ran in the dark hallways. Truly, it looked like those haunted mansions in movies, the building was really old, there were some leaks, but there was no one around Had they really used an entire building just for Natasha? Was she really that dangerous?

They ran down the stairs, six stories all guarded by armed men were nothing when his heart pumped that much adrenaline, he was almost there. While all the other floors were simple, the basement was a maze, he could see the walls that made weird turns and ended in plain cement walls were newly built, he would have a hard time finding his way around there.

"We should split up." Steve said.

"You're right."

"Whoever finds Nat first screams and we meet in the exit."

"Okay."

They took different turns. Every once in a while he found a door, they were made of solid iron, so there was no way she was going to hear his desperate screams. Her name never left his lips.

Besides the maze, there seemed to be no connection between the numbers written on the doors. So far, he'd seen 7 and 2 how was he going to find the one numbered seven.

"Tony." He said in the com.

"Yes, Cap."

"Can you see me in the cameras?"

"Yes."

"Lend me a hand then, will ya?"

"Sure thing, Cap."

"Guide me through this maze."

"Maze?!" Tony gasped, "Oh, okay. One second, I'll get the map and locate your position and the room 4."

"Please."

There were sounds of him typing before he said. "Turn right."

Steve followed.

"Go ahead, don't turn anywhere. Right, now turn left then left again. Just s bit more, you're almost there, now go ahead. Turn right."

Steve saw the door. "But how am I going to unlock it?"

"I don't know, Cap, have you tried kicking it?"

**~X~**

Natasha heard something like a voice coming from the other side of the door. But since she didn't hear anything else, she forgot about it. She was trapped, she was pregnant and, above else she was going mad.

She knelt on the floor holding the knife in both her hands. She took a deep breath, she had to be careful, she couldn't miss the stab, if she did, she might risk her life more than necessary. She pressed the tip of it against her stomach, glancing one last time at the camera above her before stabbing herself.

The feeling of the knife cutting through her skin was one of deep pain, she hit the spot, she bent over, she was starting to become dizzy. A small cough left her mouth painting her lips red with blood. The scent of blood her filled the air and she could taste it in her mouth.

"Red! No!" Tony's voice sounded. Before the door was forced to be open. It was Steve.

"I'm sorry, Steve." Her head was light and tears streamed down her cheeks. She fell to the ground.

**~X~**

Whether she fainted because of the pain caused by the wound, or the infection that quickly installed itself on her body, or because of the loss of blood, or because of the shock. There were infinite possibilities. But the one thing in her mind was that she was no longer pregnant. Nor would she be ever again.

The baby had been lost ever since the beginning, but the doctors still made an effort to save her uterus. But they failed.

Now, as she laid in the hospital bed, she didn't feel the pain caused by the stitches, but the one internally. She felt pain because she didn't believe in Steve or in anyone in the team, because she would never have a baby ever again, because despite all her training she had been too blind to see all that.

She hadn't seen Steve ever since she woke up, the doctors themselves were impressed by her fast healing, so she was moved from the ICU to a private room very soon, however, they decided to keep the machines monitoring her. She knew it was quite early to be thinking about those things, but she was afraid he might not want to see her after what she did.

The constant beeps monitoring her heartbeat filled the air breaking the silence and she stared at the ceiling. None of the nurses or the doctors asked her questions about what had happened, but she needed to come up with something, perhaps a stab wound caused by a robber. Yeah, that was the most plausible choice.

She was submerged in her thoughts when someone entered the room. Natasha looked at the door, it was Steve.

"Hi, Nat." He said in that boyish way of his that she loved so much.

"Hi, Steve." She smiled at him.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah." She nodded, "I'm sorry, Steve."

"No, Nat, _I _am sorry. I should have arrived earlier, I should have been there for you when you needed me."

"Steve, it's not your fault, I was the one who didn't believe in you."

He walked to her and kissed her softly. He touched her as if she were a porcelain doll, he was so careful and delicate. She could sense how much strength he had in his hands. It was almost as if he scared of breaking her.

"But think about it, in a few days you'll go home and we'll be together again."

"Yes." She nodded with a smile and hugged him.

"Are you done with your couple moment?" Tony entered the room along with the rest of the team. They all smiled at her.

And that moment she truly understood how it felt to be loved.

**~X~**

**A/N: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! **

**I'm working on an alternate ending to the story, since I know many of you will be sad about this one and all (I would be too), therefore, I'm going to post another chapter. Some of you may think it's not much better than this one, but I do my best to stick to realistic stuff.**


	6. Ending 2

3 hours 10 minutes and 45 seconds.

Natasha counted patiently, tapping her finger against the mattress in a steady rhythm, since there were no windows and nothing that she could use to know just how long she had been there, she counted. It served not only as a distraction, but it was also useful. She had to know if they were going to bring her meals constantly or if they were trying to confuse her, make her lose track of the time.

While she did that, Natasha also examined every corner of the room, searching for clues, something she could use to escape, but she found nothing, there weren't even cracks on the walls or vents, they were smart. And, even though she expected that from Hydra, she still had the slightest of hopes that there would be something she could use besides the desperate plan she had in mind, the last attempt.

And even though she tried her best to forget about it, the only image in her mind was Steve's face.

Who knew what he might be doing now?

Maybe, he and the rest of the Avengers were drinking and playing a game, maybe he was shopping, having a hot chocolate, or maybe even going to a club and meeting new people. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly.

"Shit." She muttered under her breath, she was sick again.

And as she leaned over the toilet, the tray of food slid from under the door.

She stood up and washed her hands and face with the water that ran from the small sink on a corner of the room.

Natasha looked at the tray, beef and salad, along with the same pills as before. How much were they spending on keeping her healthy? She sat on the floor, her back pressed against the cold cemented wall. She contemplated the pointy metal knife. It glistened when the light was reflected on its surface.

She cut the meat and ate it, the beef was very soft.

**~X~**

"Are you all ready?" Tony asked.

They all nodded, Stark took a lead off the edge of the 50 story tower.

Steve ran to the aircraft along with the rest of the team, he revised the plan in his head, while he rescued Natasha, the rest of them would go and end all the security in the building, anything that could get in their way. It almost seemed too easy to be real.

The aircraft flew high above, the assault would begin from the air. He jumped, rolling before falling down. Steve knew he was supposed to be waiting for the other, but there was a door in the roof right before him. Natasha was so close, he could almost see her. Steve looked up before breaking through the door, Clint was arriving, along with some of the others, slowly descending, but Steve couldn't wait, no, _Natasha _couldn't wait. There were lots of men there, they aimed at Steve and started to shoot, as if they already expected the arrival of the Avengers. Well, of course they did.

Steve used his shield to protect himself from the bullets that followed and used a gun he carried for emergencies to take down some of them. But then, he realized his mistake, he would need backup, for the agents from Hydra were very smart and well trained, almost equal to S.H.I.E.L.D ones. The sound of a machine gun rang from behind Steve. He was sure it meant his death, but it was Clint, he shot perfectly every single one of those men and took down all of them.

Steve looked behind him impressed.

"You're welcome, Cap, now let's go rescue Nat." The archer said and ran into the building, Steve followed.

**~X~**

She ate as slowly as possible, playing with the food, getting lost in her thoughts, chewing a lot more than needed, just so she could buy herself time, so she could decide whether or not she would follow the plan she set for herself, it was the only way to protect Steve.

Her eyes never left the knife she held on her right hand.

**~X~**

"I'm already disabling the system, I found the room Red's in." Steve heard him say through the com, his voice was followed by noises of him typing, "Um... I can't open it through the computer, but the cell is number 4 underground."

"Okay." Steve nodded as he and Clint ran in the dark hallways. Truly, it looked like those haunted mansions in movies, the building was really old, there were some leaks, but there was no one around Had they really used an entire building just for Natasha? Was she really that dangerous?

They ran down the stairs, six stories all guarded by armed men were nothing when his heart pumped that much adrenaline, he was almost there. While all the other floors were simple, the basement was a maze, he could see the walls that made weird turns and ended in plain cement walls were newly built, he would have a hard time finding his way around there.

"We should split up." Steve said.

"You're right."

"Whoever finds Nat first screams and we meet in the exit."

"Okay."

They took different turns. Every once in a while he found a door, they were made of solid iron, so there was no way she was going to hear his desperate screams. Her name never left his lips.

Besides the maze, there seemed to be no connection between the numbers written on the doors. So far, he'd seen 7 and 2 how was he going to find the one numbered seven.

"Tony." He said in the com.

"Yes, Cap."

"Can you see me in the cameras?"

"Yes."

"Lend me a hand then, will ya?"

"Sure thing, Cap."

"Guide me through this maze."

"Maze?!" Tony gasped, "Oh, okay. One second, I'll get the map and locate your position and the room 4."

"Please."

There were sounds of him typing before he said. "Turn right."

Steve followed.

"Go ahead, don't turn anywhere. Right, now turn left then left again. Just s bit more, you're almost there, now go ahead. Turn right."

Steve saw the door. "But how am I going to unlock it?"

"I don't know, Cap, have you tried kicking it?"

**~X~**

Natasha heard something like a voice coming from the other side of the door. But since she didn't hear anything else, she forgot about it. She was trapped, she was pregnant and, above else she was going mad.

She knelt on the floor holding the knife in both her hands. She took a deep breath, she had to be careful, she couldn't miss the stab, if she did, she might risk her life more than necessary. She pressed the tip of it against her stomach, glancing one last time at the camera above her. She was ready to Stab herself when someone barged into the room, Steve.

"Nat! Stop it!" He knelt by her side and took the knife from her hands.

"Steve? How..."

"I'll explain it to you later, but we have to leave now."

She nodded and left with him.

**~X~**

She got out of the showed and wrapped the towel around her. It was good to feel clean again. She dressed and went to the living room, where Steve was waiting for her, they needed to talk, to make things clear.

Natasha sat in the armchair in front of Steve, who sat in the couch.

"Nat, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. It was not your fault."

"What do you mean? If it weren't for me, for our fight..."

"Steve, _I _am to blame, I shouldn't have let my feelings get in the way. I should have paid attention to the surroundings and, most of all, I should have thought about the real consequences of having a baby. Our baby."

"What do you mean by 'consequences'."

"Steve, we are both genetically engineered soldiers, do you have any idea of how powerful this child is? I was captured by Hydra because of that, they wanted to baby. Upon the eyes of enemies, and even of S.H.I.E.L.D itself, this child is a weapon and not a human being, just as we are. I don't want him of her to go through the same kind of thing I did, I don't want them to be a weapon and have to undergo the kind of hard training they will have to whether we allow it or not."

"So... Nat... What do you plan on doing?"

"Relax, I'm not going to have an abortion."

"But then what? Are we going to raise the child?" There was a glisten in his eyes, hope.

"No, Steve." It hurt her to say those words.

"But why? Why are we giving it to adoption? And since when are you responsible about the decisions in this relationship?"  
"Do you have any ideas of just how many enemies I have? Of how many years I've been on the spying/killing business? Do you have any idea of how dangerous it is for me to even go out in the street without being killed? Hydra? Well, hydra is just the tip of the ice berg, Steve. If you want to raise a kid in this environment, then you should do it by yourself, because I'm not accepting this decision."

Steve said nothing.

"I say we put them for adoption, that's the best option. After all, it is the only way the child will be raised in safety, away from this hell we have to live in everyday."

"You're contradicting yourself. Just before, a few days ago, you said that you love your job."

"I do, but it doesn't mean it's not hell. I make more enemies every day, in every mission I go on. I love it because it's the only thing I can do."

Steve nodded. "Well, when you put it that way."

"We will still see the child, just not interact with them the right way, the way we are supposed to. In any case, sooner or later, we will see them. S.H.I.E.L.D will probably find out about them."

"Yeah... Maybe."

"But we still have a long time to decide what we are going to do. I can change my mind depending on the way things go."

**~X~**

Once, they pulled out her nails with pliers, they whipped her and they burned her arm with a blowtorch. But nothing, no pain of any sorts she'd ever experienced could compare to the one she felt now, she tried her best to muffle the noises, but groans of pain left her mouth. Still, even when she let out sounds, the doctors still looked at her with a weird look on their faces.

After the bath, she laid on the bed resting, she closed her eyes for a second, but she was forced to open them again, because someone knocked on the door, it was a nurse carrying the baby.

"It's a girl." The young woman smiled.

Natasha felt tears gather in the corner of her eyes when she held the baby, she slept so peacefully, so innocent.

"Can you send my husband in?" Natasha asked.

"Sure thing." The woman smiled and left the room.

Natasha contemplated the sight of the small red haired girl in her arms. Even though she was jut born,, she already had a lot of hair.

"How was it?" Steve walked to her.

"Painful, but I handled it."

"I see." He smiled and walked over to her. His smile suddenly faded. "So, have you made your decision?"

Natasha stopped, she looked at the baby girl in her arms. Was that sacrifice really necessary? Couldn't she be happy? Happier than she already was? Why did she always have to make the choice that hurt the most? No, she would keep the girl, she would see her dreams come true with her own eyes and she would remain by Steve's side no matter what.

"Yes." She looked at Steve, her lips curling into a small smile, "I'm keeping her."


End file.
